I’m Still Here

At some point in the not too distant future, I plan to divulge more information about my particular medical issues and what I’ve been through to get to where I am.

 

In the meantime, I will say that life is difficult for all of us and we should remember to have compassion for others. We can’t always see what the problem is, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Invisible illness is a real thing and it’s hard to deal with sometimes, especially when the people around you are telling you “it’s all in your head” or that “you’re making stuff up just to get attention.”

 

Believe me, I’ve been there. I know how depressing and draining it can be. Some days all you can do is simply exist.

 

And that’s enough.

 

Because when those days have passed, you’ll still be there and I’ll still be here – rooting for all of us.

A Mad Adventure

Today is L. Frank Baum’s birthday. He wrote the Wizard of Oz books that deal with a young girl going on a mad adventure and coming out a different person. But this post isn’t about Dorothy, it’s about another girl who went on a wild ride and came out changed. I’m talking about Alice.

You see, my youngest sister and her friend have always loved Alice and Dorothy, respectively. And, they have both been through experiences that were crazy and that changed who they were on a soul level. In my eyes, my sister, Mary, is the epitome of Alice – she went through terrible ordeals and emerged stronger and more resilient on the other side. In fact, she so embodies the Alice spirit, that when she gets married, it will be on May 4th, the real Alice’s birthday.

So, to all the Dorothy’s and Alice’s of the world, I raise my glass in your honor – you are stronger than you will ever know. Not in spite of what you have been through, but because of it.

I love you Mary and hope you know just how very proud of you I am.

Happy Mother’s Day

Today is always difficult for me. You see, I’ve been trying to have children for almost 16 years. Watching all my friends and family members celebrate being mothers is incredibly painful. I’m happy for them, but I’m sad for me. It’s confusing and makes me want to hide. So, that’s what I’m doing.

 

I’m hiding with my fur-babies

 

and feather-babies.

They are my children and I love them dearly.

Here We Go

Sixteen years ago today, I met my husband. We were two weeks into Basic Training, it was Mother’s Day, my sister’s birthday (Happy Birthday, Nin!), and the first time I cried since joining the military. I felt a warm hand on my back and heard, “Are you ok?” It was the start of something truly magnificent.

In the time since then, we have struggled, prospered, laughed, cried, and loved a whole lot. I can’t imagine my life without him. He is my rock. He drives me insane and calms my craziness. It’s a beautiful contradiction, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Why am I telling you all this? Because he is the reason I was brave enough to start a blog. And he is the reason that I have realized I shouldn’t wait to post a new blog until it is perfect. It doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be done. I don’t have to have everything precisely right in order to proceed. I just need to keep moving forward (as the Robinson’s would say.)

So, that’s exactly what I’m doing.