Why?

I’ve been thinking lately about accomplishments. I have all these things in my life that I would like to accomplish, but for one reason or another, I never do. Whether it’s because I forget, I’m too lazy, or just can’t seem to get motivated, the end result is the same. Nothing changes.

For example, I feel like I need to lose about 10-15 lbs. The thing is that I haven’t altered my diet or exercise habits in any way, yet I’m still disappointed when nothing changes. It’s completely illogical. And I don’t know how to fix it.

I know it’s mostly a mental thing – I have some kind of block or something that seems to be holding me back. I realize that this sounds like a lame excuse, but mentality is incredibly important when it comes to trying to adjust behaviors.

So, the question remains: how do I overcome my own mentality and convince myself to start creating positive changes in my life?

I have no idea. That’s the problem. There are hundreds, if not thousands of books, blogs, podcasts, and vlogs that aim to educate us on how to ‘become more productive’ or ‘overcome mental hurdles’ or ‘find more time in the day’ but each one seems to fall short for me.

Why?

Clearly the answer is me. I’m unable (or unwilling) to take the advice given and use it to my own advantage. I am holding myself back. I am standing in my own way. I am the hurdle I need to overcome.

That is some terribly depressing information to realize about myself. Which makes me even less willing or able to convince myself to be more proactive with adopting changes.

It’s a never-ending loop of self-destruction. I don’t try because I’m getting in my way and I’m getting in my way because I don’t try. A total catch-22. I’m stuck in a roundabout and can’t seem to find the exit sign or off ramp.

What to do?

For starters, admitting that I have a problem is a pretty good first step. But, it’s only useful if I manage to move past this first step and onto another. I need to find my ‘why.’ My ultimate reason that what I want to change is worthwhile. That elusive motive that gives me enough purpose to actually follow through on something, anything.

Better health isn’t a good enough reason, apparently. Nor is fitting into a smaller dress size. It makes me wonder how other people manage to find their raison d’être.

Does it come in a flash of insight, an epiphany that hits them like a stack of bricks? Is it more like a slow realization that unfolds over time? Either way, mine has been evading me for a long time and doesn’t show signs of being found any time soon.

Perhaps it’s all for the best. After all, without this internal struggle going on, I might not have had anything to write about today. I just hope that I find my ‘why’ eventually. Sooner rather than later would be nice.

I hope everyone has an enlightening weekend!

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