Happy Father’s Day!

As a woman who has dealt with infertility issues, I know how hard it is to make it through a parental holiday, namely Mother’s Day. What I forget sometimes is that it’s also hard on my husband. He wants to be a father just as much as I want to be a mother. So, Father’s Day is difficult for him.

I don’t usually write about issues that aren’t my own, but I feel like the topic of infertility is almost always directed at women and, perhaps unintentionally, men get left out of the conversation. Their feelings are just as valid and need to be recognized. I know it can be hard to talk about these things, believe me, I get it. But it should be noted that it’s ok for men to be part of the infertility topic. In fact, it’s vital. They are half of the equation after all.

So, to all the men who long to be fathers, but haven’t quite gotten there yet, I feel your pain and want you to know that your feelings have merit. Today may be challenging, but you will get through it. You may have to hide away from social media and people in general, I know I do, but you are not alone. There is support out there if you need it.

I hope everyone’s weekend is better than expected!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Tomorrow, May 12th, has multiple meanings for me. The most obvious is that it’s Mother’s Day. I love my mother immensely and know just how lucky I am to have her in my life. It’s also the day, seventeen years ago, that I met my husband. Another lucky break for me.

What I’m trying to say is that, while Mother’s Day is difficult for me for personal, fertility-based reasons, it’s also a day that has brought me great joy. It is a day of contrasts for me indeed.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Storytime: Beauty and the Beast

When I was nine years old, Disney’s animated Beauty and the Beast came out. It’s the first movie I remember seeing in theaters. It stuck in my memory because of what happened that day before we went to the movies.

My dentist in Arizona was named Dr. Lamb. I saw him every six months for routine cleanings. When I reached the age of nine, he decided that, in order for my adult teeth to grow in with no problems, I needed to have four of my molars pulled. The reasoning behind this decision was that, with one molar taken from each quadrant of my mouth, my adult teeth would have the room necessary to grow in without overcrowding. Now, mind you, I still ended up needing braces due to extremely crooked and crowded teeth. So, I’m not entirely sure that his idea actually worked. Regardless, at this point in my life, that was the procedure recommended, so that’s what I got.

My appointment was in the morning and I got to miss school. Not a bad trade-off. Or so I thought. I’m not a fan of going to the dentist for anything other than cleanings. I love getting my teeth cleaned. They feel so wonderful afterwards and don’t hurt in the process. Anything else, as in anything that requires the use of needles in my gums, and I’m a huge mess. Nowadays, I can only go in for other procedures under the use of sedation – either I.V. or pill sedation.

Of course, that wasn’t an option when I was a child. I had to lay there quietly as they placed the numbing gel in my mouth on a cotton swab, followed by the dreaded needle for the full numbing effect. It wasn’t fun. Once I was fully numb, he used these awful looking pliers to grab my teeth, that weren’t even loose yet, and twisted and yanked until they finally released from my mouth. There was no pain at this point, but the sound was simply appalling. The ripping and tearing sounds as the roots were broken made me cringe.

When all was said and done, I had a mouth full of cotton and four less teeth. My face was numb for a long time afterwards and I couldn’t eat or drink anything until the feeling came back. I was fairly miserable and wishing I’d just gone to school instead. I think my mum must have known this and decided to cheer me up with a special trip to the movie theater, just me and her. It was awesome.

We got in the theater just after the movie started, but before anything big happened. It quickly became one of my all-time favorite movies and has stayed that way ever since. When the live action remake came out in 2017 with one of my favorite actresses, I was thrilled. When it turned out to be excellent, my heart overflowed with joy. Having been connected to a terrible experience, I could have ended up despising the movie. I’m glad it went the other way though. Belle is a heroine I can truly relate to and who continues to inspire the bookworms of the world to keep reading and be kind to everyone, even the beasts in our lives.

Happy Easter!

Tomorrow holds a great deal of meaning to many people. For me, it’s more about it being my parents’ anniversary. In fact, it’s their 40th anniversary. Quite an accomplishment, especially in today’s world. Most people view marriage as something of a temporary nature. More like dating than an actual commitment.

I hold a different view.

Perhaps it’s old fashioned, but I believe that marriage is meant to last a lifetime. Marriage is hard work. I know from experience. I have been married for almost 17 years myself and it hasn’t been one long walk in the park. But even when times get hard, for whatever reason, I have never seen it as an excuse to just give up. And, luckily for me, neither has my husband. We both have the same view on taking vows. We take our vows to each other seriously, just as we took our vows to our country seriously.

I appreciate that being with someone else, anyone else, can have its trials and tribulations. All I’m saying is that it shouldn’t be so easy to throw away what should be a lifelong commitment.

That was a little preachy, I know. I just have strong opinions when it comes to the state of matrimony.

I hope everyone has a Happy Easter and, to my parents, Happy 40th Anniversary. We all love and respect you so much!!

Beverage Update

Back in January, I wrote about changing my drinking habits. I was attempting to switch from mostly sugary beverages to mostly water-type beverages with little to no sugar.

I am happy to announce that it has been a huge success. I haven’t had an actual soda in well over a month. Instead, I drink mostly naturally flavored carbonated water, along with some coffee, tea, and, of course, plain water.

It has been immensely liberating to not rely so heavily on overly processed drinks. In fact, I have even started drinking plain seltzer water, in the form of Perrier, and it is delicious. I never liked the taste of plain carbonated water before; I thought it was disgusting.

How my taste buds have changed! And in such a short time too. I am very happy with my progress and am researching dietary changes, which will be my next healthy project.

May you all enjoy your health and happiness to its fullest extent!

Shifting Beverages

The biggest problem with trying to make changes is doing too much all at once. This is especially true at the new year. I’ve fallen into this trap many times myself. So, I decided to do things a bit different this year.

I’m making changes slowly and one at a time. I know, super radical, but it seems to be working.

I started tracking my caloric intake and realized that a lot of my calories were coming from what I drank. Needless to say, I figured that would be a good place to start adjusting my habits. My drinks went from a lot of sugary, calorie laden soda, juice, and sweet tea to mostly water in various forms.

I never used to like sparkling water that didn’t have a lot of added sugar. Of course, I never really gave it a chance either. That changed recently and I have a new appreciation for unsweetened drinks. In fact, I find them quite refreshing.

I’m hoping I can snowball this one change into more in the near future. I look forward to sharing my wellness journey with you each week.

Stay happy!

Last Post of the Year

It has been one crazy year. From three failed IVF cycles to losing my source of income to getting a new job, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I saw a motivational poster recently that really struck home. It was of a Chinese proverb that said: Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

That is one philosophy I intend to take with me into the new year. Progress, however minute, is still progress and I need to remember that. Even if I am only inching forward towards my goals, I am still moving. It’s something I tend to forget, a lot.

My goals aren’t huge as of now. They are pretty basic: Drink more water and less soda, stop cussing, and start exercising again. I know I can attain each of them, so long as I remember that it’s not going to happen overnight.

I believe we can all reach the goals we set for ourselves, no matter how big or small. All we need is the motivation and support to get there. As a last token of whimsy for this year, here is a picture of my two Narwhal mugs to make you smile.

Happy New Year, everyone!!

Surgery Update

My procedure went well yesterday. I’m still pretty sore, but otherwise doing fine. I go back next week to find out what the doctor found out, if anything.

That’s it for now. I gotta go lay back down.

Talk to you again, soon.

Nerves

I’m having surgery in two days. I’ve had this type of surgery before and I know that it’s routine, but I’m still feeling a little nervous. I just keep telling myself that this may be exactly what I need to finally get where I’ve been going for the past sixteen years.

I can hope at least.

So, if you can, send me good vibes, positive thoughts, what have you. I would greatly appreciate it.

See you on the other side.

NaNoWriMo

November is known as National Novel Writing Month. Participants agree to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. By agree, I mean they make an agreement with themselves that they won’t make excuses for why they can’t write, and will just write. This year, I decided to sign up and this is my first week’s progress.

I have found this experience to be revealing. I have always been an inspiration based writer – as in, I only wrote when I was inspired to do so. Having such a large goal to reach in such a short time has made it necessary for me to write every single day, whether I am inspired to or not.

I am now on a 7-day writing streak. I am super proud of myself for not making excuses for why I can’t write and just getting to it already. Yesterday, I didn’t make my daily goal, but every other day I have. To keep myself on track, I wrote enough today to make up for my lack yesterday and to reach todays daily goal.

My writing may never be seen by anyone else, but the act of simply putting my thoughts on paper is a freeing experience. I’m glad I chose to participate.